I Am?

I have come to wonder about the accuracy of dividing myself up like this. Of giving the impression that there are separate facets of myself. Sure we present ourselves in different manners to different people. But are we truly different people in these circumstance? Or are the masques truly just masques over some inner self?

As time progresses I find that certain things that once were basic parts of my idea of me are gone while others come to the fore. I think of computers, now, as interesting, complex machines, but they take up a lot of time without giving anything back to the relationship. Meanwhile, hiking has become a part of me.

Despite the changes going on within me. I feel there is some consistency in the way I change. I feel that there is a pattern. I am not changing at random; I am changing toward something.

I write because I am trying to determine what the patterns are. By setting down where I am today, what my present incarnation is, I hope to tease out the threads of where I've been and project where I'll be tomorrow.

But this is not the ultimate end toward which I work. I want to figure out what meaning exists beyond that. Beyond time. I want to understand who I am beyond my changing outward faces and move toward that truth, that vision.