[Morning freewrite]
I am being haunted.  Last night another Trail dream.  Camping near a shelter
in a high mountain pass.  The coziness of a sleeping bag.  The smell of the
pines.  The glory of waking up to frost.  The night before a dream about
Darth Ann.  And a ghoul that came tapping on my dorm room window.  I don't
know where all everything is going.  It's all very anxious.  I need to
settle down a little.  This isn't like the new me to get all worked up about
things.  Everything is part of the ebb and flow of life, not some strange
new thing and the ending of an old.  This shouldn't be this way.  This
shouldn't be this way.

I need to sew adn sew and keep sewing.  U need the sleeping bag liner, tarp,
and pack cover.  After that I'll work on my new sleeping bag solution and
rain pants.  I think I'll leave home the emergency blanket this year.  It's
starting to delaminate, so it's not what I really need anymore.  It's bulky
(although light.)

I think I should ask on a list if mylar's any good for emergency blankets.
As it's a single polymer rather than a lamination it seems that it should be
stronger than the aluminized poly-? (ethelyne?) that emergency blankets are
made of.  ut I don't know if it reflect body heat or not.  It might be neat
to make a sleeping bag cover out of it.  Or a cold weather bag.... Not sure
how well it would sew or how well it will hold up.... Maybe it would be
bettwr to keep a sheet rolled up or something.  I don't know yet.

Hiking gear.  They're always on my mind.  Sharing the spotlight with women
and beauty.  There's little time for anything else.  Little time to be
thinking of who else or what else I might be doing with my time.

I need to write some letters.  I owe many to many people.  I also jsut must
get out of thius shell I am constructing.  Get into practice to write when I
am hiking htis year.  I need to write.  It's the only way I can keep in
touch with people.....

Critic.  Yes, I normally have an overabundance of the critic.  He stifles my
work quite well.  I don't know what I need to do about that.  I ned to
release him and let myself write whatever needs to be written for as long as
it needs to be.  Let it be.

Where am I going with my writings?  Are they going to become a major source
of income.  I need to say they can be, that I have that option if I choose.
But I have doubts.  Always doubts.  Maybe someday I'll know better what is
going on.

[End Morning freewrite]