[Morning freewrite]
I am really not going to the places I want.  mentally.  It's like I'm
developing an anxiety complex.  It shades everything I do.  Oh well.  That's
life.

I have to get out and do something else.

Texas Tortoise last year said that not being able to hike was the worst
experience of his life.  (He started a thruhike, quit because of an injury,
worked for a year and then went back last year.)  Interestingly, I don't
think that he finished.

I wonder if he'll be out again sometime?

I'm really starting to plan on this winter hiking stuff.  I think I'll make
myself three sleeping bags.  A twenty, a -5, and a -40.  Hopefully that'll
keep me toasty in all weather conditions I might encounter.  (-40????  Yes,
the northern regions of Minnesotta sometimes dip belox -40.)  Interesting
fact about -40.  It's the one place on teh thermometer where Celsius and
Farenheit coincide.  -40 degrees is the same in Farenheit and Celcius.
(Though not in geography.)

There is something.  There is nothing.  What is going on in my life?

I think I should become a country western singer.  Or really, a country
singer.  Or folk.  You know, they kind of music before country-pop-western.
There's too much glitz in music now.  It's not about glitz (unless you're a
glam-rocker.  also an attractive thought.)  It's about feelings.  Songs that
reach out and touch the soft core beneath the rugged exterior of that
cowboy.

Hmmm..... What am I doing writing here?  Am I publishing myself?  Am I
journalling?  am I simply poforcing myself to perform a daily purge, a daily
writing exercise?  I don't know.  Perhaps one or perhaps the other or yet
another.  I would like to write more finished stuff but I don't have the
time.  But I force myself to do htis becuase it seems to help with the
traditional stuff.... Pretend you have stuck pipes.  Running water through
them can unstick them because you're wearing away at the blockages, pushing
htem out and letting your processes flow.

Hmmm.... hmm..... hmmm..... Meditation.  Do you think or blank?  Which is
correct?  Is meditation reflection on thoughts or escape from thoughts.
Thoughts usually proceed logically.  Meditative insight is supposed to be
more spontaneous.  All of a sudden you know things that you didn't before.
You might be able to work it out via thought if you took time and knew which
directions to look in, but meditation is supposed to put things together
that you didn't know went together.

Amazing synthesees.  I love synthesis.  Among people and among thoughts and
things.  It seems that you're building upon forebears to create something
new and amazing.

[End morning freewrite]