[Afternoon freewrite]

Last night I dreamt of hiking.  Or movement in general.  I left the scene
too early (rather -- I left the scene and thought of too many other things
upon waking) to remember more than the impression of hiking... Of movement.

What do my dreams mean?  The thread of movement.  Is it a wish?  A recipe?
A statement?  In the first it would be something I want -- to move and move
and not settle down in a place.  In the second it is a suggestion of what
would truly make me happy.  I should go out and move.  I should travel.  In
the third it is.  I have for the past little while in my life been moving.
I have been going out and exercising.  I have been making myself see more
and more and more.  On which level should I view my dreams?

I don't have confidence that dreams have meaning.  I don't have confidence
that I can see in dreams anything but a mirror of myself.  Perhaps
subconscious thoughts will surface, but I still posess them.  I am searching
for proof  that theere is something outside of me in my dreams.  Or perhaps
-- something beyond the limitations I have placed upon myself.....

Where is it that  Iam going?  Why am I attracted to travel?  How might I use
this to my advantage?  How might I travel and not worry about bills?  How
can I make it sufficient in terms of money as well as spiritually
satisfying?  And what mode of travel?  Is hiking and skiing and other things
that I can do without excessive aid what I want?  Or do  I want more speed?
Would a car be okay?  A bicycle?  Is it the self-sufficiently (I cannot
repair a car, but I can tape up a boot with duct tape) or is it the speed or
is it something else that appeals to me?  What is it that I want from my
mode of travel?

I have started on a book/story -- the Lyricist.  Is it going anywhere?  I
haven't looked at it since the wedding.  It's mostly just a sketch work of
things to come.  I don't have a plot yet.  A theme I have but that's
slightly different.  Still, I suppose a good theme will allow the plot to
come.  Everything will fit in because they must occur a certain way in order
to satisfy the plot.

What and where?  I know that I am not a good initial judge of character.
But am I a good judge of character after being exposed to people for a
while?  I do not know.  Perhaps I am but would not be willing to take that
leap?  Is this misjudgement holding me back in my creative work as well?
Afraid to misjudge my characters?

Characters are ephemeral to me.  People are a collection of sensations.  Of
touch.  There is not the same level of personality that I see other writers
develop.  A multi-faceted person, but not many contradictions.  That's what
I write.  Who are these people?  They are people with a few basic drives,
desires, motives... Everything else falls into place behind them.

This is how I write.  It is how I attempt to live.  To find ht4e basic, the
simple, the general, in the specifics of me.  To look for something that
everyone shares rahter than something that is unique to me the situation,
etc.

[End Afternoon Freewrite]