[Morning Freewrite]

	This morning I write with thoughts and preconceptions.  I have written email already.  Sullied my mind with thoughts of how life is.  I don't believe th I will be as disjointed as usual.  Will I have as much to say?

	There is something about life that confuses me.  There are many things that do.  But I believe that they are all boiled down to one confusing thing.  Just as everything I know boils down to one known thing.  The known and the unknown.  Confusion is where you have pieces of known intermingled with pieces of unknown and do not realize it... or only realize it vaguely.  Why?  Because we see the unknown and do not perceive it there.  Therefore we are confused by why things don't act the way we know the known pieces should.

	Do I really want to write about that?  Is that what I am writing about?  I don't believe so.  There is something less or more that I am writing.  What is it?  What should I write?  What needs to be written?  I am writing about myself more and more.  People are aspects of myself (characters)  Things represent me and how I feel towards the world.  Where haas the ability to write about external forces and focuses gone?  Perhaps they never existed.  Perhaps I remember a childhood filled with spaceoperas but I never wrote them.  Only played them.  I have a model of a star fighter at home.  The Zshantar.  I built it with legos and played with it for hours.  Perhaps I played with it but never really made it a book.  A story could never develop from it.  There were no characters worthy of mention.  They were generic hero and generic heroine....  All is me and I am all in my books.  There is nothing more.

	Is God a writer?  Or did a writer create God?  Or perhaps a thinker, reading what another had written interpreted God from that.  Who is God, but a writer?  His substance permeates all of creation.  His ideas are the only ones that matter.  He is obscured, occluded from our vision because he is far more than we are.  Two dimensional pieces we are compared to that which is the world and more.

I think that this is where I diverge from Christianity.  I think we could agree up to here.  But now I take more Eastern thoughts to mind - God is more than us yet we have the chance to become one with that.  Pretend that God is clay within a press.  One of those play-do dolls that you could sit in a barbers chair and the chair would press the play-do out the holes in the dolls head and have hair....  We are the hair.  But we are made of the same substance as the rest of god.  Now suppose that there was some way.  Perhaps not easy, but some way still, of reversing your flow.  Instead of being forced out those holes, you could force yourself back in.  Wouldn't that be something?  Wouldn't that be something?

	Who is to say that this isn't?

	More.  Let me pretend that beyond this ability to regain your oneness with the whole of creation, you have the ability to feel through the mass of clay and without rejoining it fully (ie: subsuming your bit of clay back into the whole) have the ability to feel what is going through the other pieces.  You are all connected.  We are all connected.  Why should I not be able to touch another strand of hair through the clay ball rather than by ending over to touch it on the surface?  Utilize links that cannot be seen on the surface of the world.  Only underneath the surface.  Below the surface.  Somewhere other than the surface.

[End Morning Freewrite]