[Noon Freewrite]

I took my time today getting ready to write this.  I suppose it was a
problem.  I have been writing programs all morning and my thoughts are
turning towards htem instead of writing.  Last night I worked on getting the
writing part of the web pages up and running.  No joy yet.  I'm not yet able
to copy my files around at will.  Safe Mode in PHP isn't being very helpful.
PHP should recognize when it is writing files and be able to allow you to
move those even though it is in Safe Mode.  Oh well.  Work around it
somehow....

So what's new in my writing life?  I am stallee on my novel project.  I
think I'm a little too critical right now.  I'm not sure where I want the
characters to go and so I'm hindering myself there.  Also the style.  I have
been changing style throughout the first chapter and it bothers me.  I need
to just write and then edit afterwards.  sigh.

I've been trying to get in touch with Darth and Timekeeper &  Morning Star.
No joy yet.  Things are strange when you can't get in touch with people.

I think I need to do something new with my life.  Maybe find an internet
temp agency and hire out or something.  I don't know.  There's plenty to be
done if only I'm willing tofind time to do it.

I need to write.  It's the only thing I've ever put my hands to that I think
I could do for a living.  Everything else has been a plodding resentment in
a way.  Why can't I be doing something else.  Writing is a freeing
experience and I need to do that as my work.

Where is my writing going these days, though?  That is perhaps the major
question.  Where are things going?

I think I'll spend more time going through GIMPO tutorials.  Adding a little
graphics art to my skills isn't a bad thing.  I think I'd enjoy it and I
think there's something to be said for art.  I like art adn film and
writing.  Why is that?  What things do these have in common?

Brandi just went crazy because hte mailman just arrived.  Isn't it strange
how the dog reacts when someone's home as opposed ot when she's alone?
Defense of territory but scared?  Or defense of people?  I'm not sure.

There's something about the way I'm writing today.  Short paragraphs.
Nothing major.  Why is that?  It seems as though I am not saying something.
I am putting something off... I....

Where have all my poems gone?  I used to write poetry so well.  But it has
fallen by the wayside as well.  Why is that.  There has been little of it
since I got back and little of it on the trail this year.  What is keeping
me from it?  I'm not sure.

Meditation.  I should add meditation and dream writing to my schedule.
Freewrite dream write and meditation.  Those will take a significant amount
of time but that's not a problem, is it?  The problem is when I cannot
listen to myself want those things.  I need to get up and do things.  I need
to go forth and do things.  I need to be doing these things in particular
because they advance my goal of becoming more in tune  with the spiritual
side of my being.  Finding something spiritual is important to me... It
always has.  But these days I feel more insulated from it than normal.  So I
must do something consciously to get back to it.  To return to the source of
myself.

What is it that I must really do?  I'm not sure.  There are many things that
may lead somewhere.  Many roads.  But which roads will advance me and which
are diversions?  Which are longer but scenic?  Which are more direct?  How
may I judge a road?  Is there nothing but the goal to make it worthwhile?

[End Noon Freewrite]