[Morning Freewrite]
Where am I going?  Burning out a bit.  A bit of burnout.  On that question.
I have other thoughts.  But wha are they?  Where do they go?  I havne't
decided on a new metaphor to express my wquestion as.  What kind of metaphor
wors better than that of travelling.

Archetypes.  Metaphors.  These are the building locks of our thoughts.  We
build symbolically with symbols from our lives.  Symbols from other lives.
What happens when we have whole new symbolsets?  What will happen if we find
someone with a whole different metaphorical sense?  To whom new objects have
been ingrained since birth?  Is there something new?

I don't know where we're going.  I don't know where I'm going.  I'm in
limbo.  Because of?  Because of my lack of attachment.  There's no strong
attachment within me to anything.  Nothing to draw me somewhere.  Nothing to
draw me to do something specific.  And must everything have a reason?  Must
there be a reason to act in a certain manner?  I don't know.  Perhaps there
is.  Perhaps there isn't.  I don't know.  Truly there is something about
life that may or may not be true.  Truly true.

Rambling.  That's what htis is for anyhow, is it not?  To ramble?  But what
sort of rambling am I doing?  Today is an incoherent babble..... Yet there
is something behind the babble.  There always is.  The seret is of course to
unlock it.  The unlock.  Key.  Thing.  That core idea that.  Thing that.
makes sense when everything else does not.  A filter.  Through whic hwe can
see.  More clearly.  A polarizing filter.  To take out the haze.  To see
clearly.  Up and down and around and.  To see.

What does anything mean?  Why have certain people in my life chosen to call
me and others not chosen to?  Why have I found certain times in my life to
be filled with peopl and others not?  What is going on?  Where is here?
Where is there?  What is life?  Is everything okay?  With me, with others?
What?

Exhibitionist, I.  Rather than voyeur.  I like to keep as few secrets as
possible.  Of course there are many secrets that I keep, but I try not to.,
I try to make everything in the open.  But I cannot.  I have not.  I do not.
does this bother me?  How much?  How much is guilt a factor in my life?  How
much of who I am is a product of guilt?  How much a product of life?  How
much....

I think I could have fun with many things.  With many things I could have
fun.  I think.  Do I think?  I don't know who I am or where I'm going.  I
need to go.  Or perhaps not worry so much about going.  I need to make
things happen.  I need to write.  I need to stop preventing myself from
writing.  I need to make sure that I write becuase in writing there is a
hope of making money and not feeling bad about it.  I know.  This is the
only way that I can whore myself and feel good.  Because writing is
creation.  It is not as mind numbingly just a cog.... What purpose does a
writer serve?  A writer serves to illuminate truth.  A writer serves to
entertain.  A writer may be one who influences and changes the course of
society.  These are aspects of writing.  They are not like providing food
for the masses.  Is that good for me or bad?  To profit from the
entertainment of others is good?

[End Morning Freewrite]