What is the purpose of getting off the Trail?  To find security.  To find fulfillment.  To question and quest in a new direction.  I have found happiness and ideas on the Trail.  But I need a bigger body of experience to continue thinking and growing.  To continue to amass metaphors.  What is it that is so futile in the end that makes things change and grow?  What is it that we are doing here?  I think there is nothing that I see that makes much sense.  Is there?

What aspects of civilization am I looking for?  What aspects am I seeing?  I am looking for companionship truly.  What else?  What else do I need?  I am thinking that I may need other things from civilization.  A job means money.  A computer means mental challenges and communication with other beings.  Telephone is the same.  What is it that I look for in civilization?  New foods.  Movies.  Lack of destiny?  Or is that something that I find on the trail?  To find a world without destiny.  Without goal... One where there is stillness at the heart.

I suppose I brought it back from the trail.  I found it there but I have more time for it here.  When on trail I can be at peace.  Or I can be trying to keep up with others - hike their pace.  When off the trail I am trying to hike my own pace.  But do I?  Or do I get caught up?  I may get caught up but I have more time to not get caught up as well.  I do not have to hike every day.  I can hike or not as I choose.  I can meditate today.  Dream tomorrow.  Experiment.  Read.  Learn.

There are constraints in any endeavour.  On the trail the constraint is to hike or to have the hiking time to do something else.  Here the constraints are work and play of a different form.  Work for money.  Play = ?